Blog challenge day 19

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

D and I already have a plan for this. When I get out of the navy (19 more years, lol) we want to move to somewhere like Montana, Idaho, or Washington, and open a senior dog care center/ranch, and have them either live out their days with us or be adopted. I want horses too. :)

I want to live somewhere safe, where I can keep my doors unlocked at night and know i'll be okay. I want to be somewhere close to school for my kids, somewhere I know they will get a proper education.

But at the same time, I want isolation/privacy. On a lake. With nature. With family. With love. I don't like the city life...I prefer quiet nights with an open sky full of stars.

Topic for next time: three significant memories from your childhood.

Blog challenge day 18

Today's challenge has been in the back of my mind for a few days now, and it's time to put it out there. If you've forgotten, the question is, what is the most difficult thing you have had to forgive? A couple of things come to mind, but I think the one thing that burns the most is the one thing I haven't completely forgiven yet. Does that still count? If it's a work in progress that may never be resolved, can it still be considered? It doesn't seem right, but really I can't think of anything else that was too hard to forgive. A few examples, before I get to the juice...

My fathers suicide. Forgiving him and myself was hard. I blamed myself for YEARS because I didn't call him on Christmas (he committed suicide two days later). I thought maybe if I had, he'd still be here. Working through the pain and realizing that there were a lot more issues was a tough one to accept, I'll admit that. And of course I was upset at him...we were just getting things going! How DARE he do that! But as I've gotten older and gotten to know all different kinds of people I've realized that even the ones who put on the strongest face suffer on the inside sometimes. I know that there were things going on internally that maybe I'll never fully comprehend and I can't blame him for those things. Accepting those things made it a little a lot easier to forgive.

Things that happened in my childhood that I will not put out there. All I will say is that it's in the past, and I will have a better childhood when I have children of my own. No one should go through what my siblings and my mom went through. The past is the past, and I am better for it.

Friends that I have lost for absolutely no reason...or at least none that were given to me. Honestly, I don't have time to save something that does not want to be saved.

Alright, the meat and potatoes.

Her.

She has said and done things that no one should say and do. She has brainwashed him to the point of no return and completely transformed him into a different person. I would not recognize him if I ran into him today. Does it hurt? Yes, it absolutely breaks my heart. But, I have people in my life now how genuinely care for my well being and that helps me not constantly think about it. This goes back to the idea of my childhood in a way, because I vow to have my children close in age and raise them to believe that family is absolutely everything and if you meet someone along the way who tries to change that perspective, they are wrong...and if you fall for it, shame on you. I can't wrap my head around how he's easily so...manipulated. Sure, I'm submissive by nature too, but I would never completely disown those who sheltered me for...well, my entire life!

Part of me wants to say forget it, let it go, all is forgiven...except I've been down that road before.
Some things never change.
Which is why it's so hard to forgive. It's still too soon for me to say it. As much as I would love to, to have his daughter in my life, to know her life...I cannot do it because of the woman he sleeps next to. So instead of gaining a new member of my family, I lose three.

Worth it?

I don't know. As mean as it sounds, I'm still alive and I'm doing alright. That's not to say I don't think about him everyday and would love to write her telling her exactly what's on my mind...but I know how she operates, I know that she always has to be right so it would do no good.

So I go on living. I have my amazing husband, my best friend in WA, and amazing shipmates who help me through the best and worst of times.

This has been the most difficult thing I've ever had to (try to) forgive.

Next topic: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

Blog challenge day 17

Today's topic: Describe the thing you wish you were most great at.

Wow, so many things come to mind. I wish I could be a better debater. I wish I could be wittier. I wish I could be a better swimmer. I wish I knew how to bake. I wish I could sew.

People say you are your own worst critic. That is sooo the case with me!

I guess to narrow it down for the purpose of this blog topic, I wish I was most great at creativity. That way i could put it into every aspect of my life - cooking, decorating, baking, cleaning, etc. I'm okay at it right now, but there is always room for improvement. :)

Stay tuned. Next topic is: What is the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

Blog challenge day 16

Today's topic. 5 greatest accomplishments:

-Getting my associates degree. Not only am I the first in my family to do it, it made me feel like I sort of knew where I was going in my life. Little did I know that I would be thrown a whole different curveball, but I'm okay with that! It has put me ahead in my Navy career and I'm thankful for that.

-Joining the military. Sure, I have bad days and I have great days. But no matter what, I start each day with a new, positive attitude and I try to rub that off on my peers. I'm not always successful but hey, at least I'm happy. :) I didn't join to be a boatswains mate either, but there is so much that I can learn from it and do everyday, that it's not a bad gig.

-Getting married. Okay, so I didn't marry my high school sweetheart like I always wanted to. But that's because I didn't have one. Derek re-entered my life six months after we graduated high school and we have been untouchable and inseparable ever since. I won't bore you with the details of my fairy tale, but I'm blessed and happy and to me, that's all that matters.

-Getting a NAM. In military lingo, that's a Navy Marine Corps Achievement Medal. People don't usually get it until the end of their tour, and if they get it before that, they have to do something pretty damn spectacular to get it...my efforts during our biggest inspection, INSURV, (don't ask what that stands for) definitely earned me the right to get one. If I could, I would give everyone in my division one, because we all worked our asses off.

-Only having three jobs prior to joining the military. I have always been a commitment girl. I hold on to what I love. I worked in a casino, at an Olive Garden, and at a Holiday Inn Express before I signed a contract with the worlds greatest Navy. I pride myself on that because most people go from job to job and i know a lot of employers don't like to see that. On the other hand, some like to know that people are "experienced." Oh well, I'm proud of it regardless.

Stay tuned next time: Describe the thing you most wish you were great at.

Blog challenge day 15

Today's challenge: if you were an animal, what would you be and why?

This is actually hard! But that's mostly because I love all animals and I am indecisive. I guess though, if I could be any animal, I would be a dog.

They are misunderstood.
They are way smarter than they are given credit for.
They are incredibly forgiving.
They are protective.
They depend on us for food and water (unless they are forced into unfortunate circumstances).
They love to cuddle and think they're lap dogs no matter how big they are!

At least my dogs are. So if I could be a dog, I would want to be a direct reflection of them...because they are the best! :)

Tomorrow's challenge: What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

Blog challenge day 14

Five strengths.

1. I see the potential in people and I have a lot of faith in them, even when things around the world get really hard.

2. I am full of passion.

3. I am great at multi tasking, and I love doing it.

4. My friends, family, and my husband are my strength. I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have are amazing.

5. I am forgiving. This could also be a weakness, I suppose, but I choose to view it as a strength because life is too short to hold a grudge forever. If I forgive and move on, even if I don't get what I want out of it, then it makes me a better person.

Blog challenge day 13

Good evening ya'll. Today's topic is all about 5 of my weaknesses. Let's get started!

-I am horrible at standing up for myself. I am not good at witty comebacks, and I always think of the best/right thing to say long after things happen.

- I am still really gullible! I will believe someone based on their experience rather than fact checking for myself!

- I doubt myself. My self-confidence is super low and I always think the worst of myself instead of the best. (ie swimming...I know I could do it if I really tried, but I always have the wrong attitude about it.)

- I'm more hypocritical than I want to admit. For example: I want to be the wife who can do it all: work a full time job, keep the house clean, and raise kids, but yet I don't want to put fourth the effort...I want the dishes to do themselves and the house to clean itself.

Lastly, I depend too much on technology. One of these days I'm gonna not use my phone for a week, then a month, then...

Stay tuned for tomorrow's topic: 5 of my strengths.

Blogger challenge day 12

Today's topic: a typical day in my current life

Let me start out by saying that nothing about my daily life is normal or typical. Every day is something new. We have a plan of the day everyday, and certain things that happen ship wide everyday (ie sweepers) but for our division, nothing is the same.

Let's see. Typically, we get right to work right around 0800. We do anything from busting paint and other topside preservation to deep cleaning our spaces. Maintenance happens for those who are qualified and on the team. Inspections happen a lot, too...we are always in a training cycle of some sort (usually those are more ship wide than division specific).

From 0800-1100 we are working on the above activities. Once 11 hits, we are in the line for lunch. BMs are the type that don't always get a full lunch so we like to be first in, first out. Lunch usually runs from 11-1230. We have been able to take a full lunch, but sometimes if we want an early day we will cut lunch short to get work done.

After lunch we are back at it, but this time its through training. We either have divisional training or what is called ESWS. ESWS (enlisted surface warfare specialist) is a pin that you get once you complete a PQS (personnel qualification standard) and go through a first class board and chiefs board. People who are ESWS qualified are usually shit hot...or at least they think they are. ;)

Depending on what else is going on, we are off work anywhere between 1400-1700. Since we are nearing the end of our yard period, it will unfortunately be leaning toward the later side of the evening. Once the new year hits we will be spending a lot more time at sea.

So there you have it! Isn't my life fun?! haha. Tune in next time for 5 of my weaknesses.

Blog challenge day 11

As promised, today's challenge is about 10 of my pet peeves! Let's get started.

First of all, why are they called pet peeves? Why can't they be called blood boilers, or annoyances? lol

Next. People who don't use their turn signal when driving. Not only is it a serious safety hazard, but it's also just stupid. It takes NO effort to turn it on. With that, EXPIRED TABS. omg. I get they're ridiculously expensive, but if you drive it's an expense you need to account for. There is no excuse!

People (employees) who don't speak English in America. I understand we are a nation of diversity, but English is believed to be our native tongue. If I go to a non-English speaking country, I would try my best to respect their customs and learn their language.

Those who don't tip in restaurants. I don't know if they realize that it's what we do here and it's how servers make their living, but to take up a table for hours and make a person run back and fourth and leave next to nothing (or literally nothing) is just rude.

Girls who wear leggings as pants. I don't think there is much more to add to this.

People who disrespect their uniform off-duty. I'm speaking mostly about military personnel. I see some dirt bags. Just because they think they're not on base doesn't mean that people aren't watching them.

Bad spellers/people who suck at grammar. Mom, I love you. lol.

Blatantly ignorant people who express said ignorance against bull terriers and other dogs. When will we start looking at pet OWNERS as the cause of their behavior? Sure, some dogs have it wired in them to be more aggressive than other breeds. But it can be controlled. I won't go on my usual tangent, but really their ignorance makes me sad. It's not hard to educate ourselves.

Fair weather sports fans. People who only like their "team" when they win.

A bonus one. Open cupboards. Not that hard to close them! I'll never forget one time my husband opened EVERY cupboard in my mom's house just because he knew it bothered me. But he got a good laugh from it, so I guess it was okay.

What are some of your peeves?

Stay tuned for the next topic: Describe a typical day in your current life.

Blog challenge day 10

Today's challenge: describe your most embarrassing moment.

I'm the type of person that doesn't get embarrassed easily. I am, by nature, pretty silly. I do things that others wouldn't do just to make people laugh. That being said, there are things I do that maybe cross the line and I'm not proud of.

Take high school. I was loud, obnoxious, and probably annoying to a lot of people. Though I took my studies seriously, I didn't have a lot of friends because of my behavior (and other factors that I won't go into).

There is still a large part of me that is like that, and I try to check myself because I'm not proud of it. But you know what they say - mistakes are made so we can learn from them...and that's what I'm doing...learning.

Stay tuned for the next topic: 10 pet peeves I have...that should be fun!

Blog challenge day 9

Today's topic: 10 people who have influenced me and why. Get your tissues, folks. I have a feeling this one might get emotional.

First and foremost, my Grandma Jo. This woman...I cannot say enough good things about her. She, to me, is love. She has lost so much in her life and has never given up. I am amazed by her strength. If I can be half the woman she is, I still will not be good enough. I admire her to the moon and back. She, without even knowing it, helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel when my stubborn self only sees darkness. If I didn't have her in my life, I would not have as much compassion as I do. I admire her to the moon and back.

Then there is my husband. He puts up with SO MUCH MORE than he needs to. He encouraged me to join the navy, which was an amazingly great career move, he inspires me every day to simply be better. He is love. Our chapter is only beginning and I am so excited to see where it goes. Forever is not long enough to spend with him...almost 6 years later, it still feels like the honeymoon.

Next comes my mother. She didn't have much growing up, but she made the most of it. Obviously I wouldnt be here without her, but she inspires me to have what she never did. I'm not talking about materialistic stuff - I could care less about that. I'm talking about always seeing the good in people...always giving people a second chance...always forgiving...she's stronger than she realizes. I love her so much and wouldn't be here without her, but I am so thankful for the closeness we have!

Let me tell you something about the next one. Every morning, without fail, he kisses my mom and tells her how beautiful she is and says he loves her. That, my friends, is beautiful to me. He may be old fashioned but i have adopted so many of his principals into my life and i really don't care what others think of it, because I have him to thank for it. My step dad is not only the greatest man i know, but he is my hero. Whenever i talk about him i get super emotional because there is so much love in my heart for him. I think the best part about him is how much he can teach a person and not even realize the impact he has. I can't even say enough for him except every single day i hope i am doing him proud by the choices i make. He is an amazing inspiration to me and I have nothing but love for him.

My oldest (biological) brother Josh is one of the smartest, most stubborn people i know. He challenges your beliefs which is both fascinating and frustrating. lol. I love debating with him because he opens my mind to so many new things. He inspires me because he is both street smart and book smart and incredibly resourceful. We are really alike and sometimes we don't realize just how much.

Women who have babies really close in age and can maintain a happy marriage and a career, and their sanity. They may have help that I don't know about but they definitely make it look easier than I'm sure it is.

On that note, dads who step up. Dads in general don't get enough credit. It's all about the mom because she carried and birthed the child, but the dad, in most cases, PUT UP WITH HER THROUGH IT! lol. That takes a lot of patience to tell a woman she is beautiful every day when she is not comfortable with herself. But I really truly admire dads who marry a woman with kids who aren't biologically his and take them under his wing as his own. I tell you, that can save a life.

My "person" Stacy inspires me because I think she's one of the, if not THE only friend I have who has obtained a bachelors degree, got married, and doesn't have kids. I love her because she is not afraid to speak her mind, and doesn't care what other people think. I know her as loyal, trusting, and an all around great person. She is incredibly goal oriented, too. When she wants something, she won't stop until she gets it. She's full of creative ideas, too...which is always fresh in an ever depressing society.

That's eight. I really can't think of two more, unless I get into celebrities which I don't want to do. Who are some of your inspirations?