Say it if it's worth saving me...

I saw a photo someone took of me recently and had to look twice.

I didn't recognize that person at all.

They said they were going to show me the picture, and then opened up to it. I waited. When they didn't select a different one, I thought, why are they showing me this?

Then I saw it. I will show it to you and let you be the judge, but first let me ask you: have you ever been in a situation like this? It's ...scary thinking you have completely lost yourself.

That's it. Thoughts?

Service vs. civilian

It's funny how life in the military is glamorized before we enter it. The things that no one tells us about beforehand...Before you join but after you sign up, you have so many expectations about where you're going to go, what you're going to accomplish, and all the new people you're going to meet. I'm not gonna lie, it's exciting to put these images together.

But then you get out of boot camp and A school and into the real world, aka the fleet. You're on a ship or shore duty if you're lucky, and you're brand new with your boots shined, ready to take on the world. The happiness wears off after a few months, because you finally realize that this world isn't much different from the civilian world...except it is. You wear the same thing every day, see the same people everyday, and do the same thing everyday. You work from 7am until ... God knows when, and once a week (or more) you have to stay overnight on the ship. You can't call into work, getting there is a pain because of traffic, and you can't leave work early to get a jumpstart on the weekend. Hell, sometimes you don't even get a weekend.

Sleeping on board when you're underway (not moored to a pier) is exhausting. Waking up at random hours to stand watch, or sleeping through the night but having to wake up at reville is just as bad...one shower is to be shared between 30+ females, there is no room to move and you have no personal space whatsoever. It's a mess.

There is a plus side, though. All the hours spent on the ship make the hours away from it more enjoyable. We learn to not take time for granted. We make sure the time we spend with our families is enjoyable...even if it's just making breakfast together, sleeping in, or doing whatever. We make it count.

Being married is hard. You hope your other half understands that you love them and would be at home if you could, but this job doesn't permit it.

Funny thing about it is, I like this life. Sometimes. Most of the time. I'm making the best of it because i signed up to do this...so I find ways to enjoy it. :)

Beyond the Myth

I just got done watching a documentary called Beyond the Myth, about the misconception and obvious discrimination against pitbulls (and other dogs, but mostly pits). It was fascinating. I have the trailer below, I strongly encourage everyone to watch it. It's an hour and a half, made in 2010, and it's on Netflix. Totally worth it.

I am appalled at mankind. Watch the movie, form your own opinion. I wish there was more i could do, but I don't know where to start.

Watch the video here.

First challenge completed!

I vowed to drink no alcohol for 30 days. It was hard, but I needed to do it. There were times that I wanted to have a drink (or several) after work because it's SO STRESSFUL, but I refrained. I've said before that my dad was an alcoholic, and the thought of becoming dependent on that scares me. I know that if I had anything to worry about, I wouldn't have lasted 30 days. Hell, I wouldn't have lasted 3 days!

I'm super proud of myself. This months challenge will be to refrain from eating red meat. :) Yay!

Like our parents...

I can't help thinking about where my parents were when they were my age. I think a lot of us compare our lives to theirs, because we want to find some satisfaction in our own successes...or maybe we just want to learn from them, do better, I don't know. I'm 24 and I feel like I've done nothing with my life, but I know that's not true...I just...I don't know, maybe got a late start, if nothing else. In the grand scheme of things, I've done pretty well. I got my associates degree, which I paid for on my own...I moved into my own apartment when I was 19, and lived there for a good 4 years. I've been with the same guy for the past 5 years, and I married him with no doubt in my mind that we were meant for each other. I joined the Navy when I was 23...on one hand I'm glad I did, because I got some life experience in...if I had joined straight out of high school, I wouldn't have the same outlook. On the other hand, joining at 23 means that I spend my day with 18-20 year old little boys, who are not always easy to work with. But, I genuinely love what I do, which is not what I expected.

A lot of people my age have kids. When my mom was my age, she had one son and another on the way. I have two dogs, a budding career, and I'm still considered a newlywed. I dream of having kids all the time...I know I want them someday. But could I handle it now? I don't know. Luckily, there isn't the expectation of the stay at home, always pregnant mom image anymore...women are allowed to be free thinkers, have careers, and start families when they're older. So I'm not under pressure. However, I do want all my children to be born before I'm 30, and I don't want to have them when my metabolism slows down. Maybe that's a selfish thought, I don't know...but frankly, I don't care because it's my body. lol

Why am I saying all this? I think it's to remind myself that just because I'm not a mother, doesn't mean I'm not where I'm supposed to be. It doesn't mean I'm a failure. My time will come and when it does, I'm gonna be even more in love than I am now. I think I'm gonna be a great mom, because I have such high expectations and will know what I do and don't want to teach them. :)

Thoughts?