The back and forth is so unnerving

I always wanted four. Right now, we have 2. I said I’d be done at or before I turned 30. I’ll be 30 in 4 months. Some would say I’m still in my prime for “baby making” and it’s okay, because I’m still young and I still have time.

Some days, I am done. Completely. Between the dirty diapers and tantrums and lack of personal space, I would be crazy to start over.

But then, just as soon as I think I’m done, I long for the newborn stage, where all they do is sleep and you are their favorite thing. Before they become two and are full of sass, becoming their own person, long before the struggle of potty training starts. Before all the leaps and teething and sleepless nights.

There is nothing in the world that compares to being a Mom. Despite the exhaustion and constant worry, there is nothing better.

I don’t know how people know for sure. I have one of each, I should be good, right? It doesn’t always work like that.

Please, tell me how you knew you were done. ❤️

Redirection

It's been almost a year to the day since I've blogged. It would take a while to update on every single change, so I won't do that. Instead, I'll highlight the most important things.

I am taking a month off of school. This isn't necessarily intentional, but it is needed. I am getting burnt out from the grind My past two classes have not gone the way I planned and my GPA has suffered for it. I'll bounce back, but this break is necessary; I need to refocus.

About a month ago, I returned to the work force. Don't get me wrong, being a stay at home mom was amazing and I loved (almost) every minute of it. I am so grateful that I got to be with my babes all the time for about 2 years. That said, I am meant to be in the workforce. I have an impeccable work ethic; I love being with other people. Also, my husband was getting burnt out from his job. Part of our marriage vows is "in sickness and health"...I take them pretty seriously. My husband needs to figure out what he wants to do, and for now, that's being there for our children. We have time for us, but our kids need us now...not someone else to raise them. So, we decided to "switch roles" for now. I feel okay about it since I make good money and I know my babies are being taken care of with their daddy and not a babysitter.

Less than 24 hours ago, I deleted facebook. It got too political and ridiculous. I'm still on instagram, so if you need my username, ask me!

I'm going to try to keep up with blogging, because I do miss it!