Blog challenge day 20

Today's topic: three significant memories from my childhood.

Let's fast forward from my birth, October 22, 1988, until I was 6 years old. There are a lot of painful memories in that time period that I don't care to remember, including, sadly, my very first one.

One that I am particularly fond of, however, took place in the house I was living in. My mom was about to leave her second husband, and a plumber had come over to fix the pipe under the sink because it was leaking. I didn't know it at the time, but this man was her boyfriend. I asked her when he left if he was coming back...when she said yes, I said, "he's cute!" haha my mom never lets me live that one down.

Another one I am fond of is meeting my first best friend, Eryn. We were in first grade, I was new to the area, and she was incredibly nice to me. We clicked right away. We were close all through the years, even past high school. We are states away now, but keep in touch through facebook. I love technology for being able to keep us (and of course my other friends) in touch.

Lastly, all the times that my step dad and I would be outside all day taking care of the animals, building things, and listening to baseball on the radio. He'd tell me stories of what it was like growing up how and when he did, and what it was like serving in 'Nam...it was so cool to hear stories like that.

Stay tuned for the next topic: If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?

Blog challenge day 19

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

D and I already have a plan for this. When I get out of the navy (19 more years, lol) we want to move to somewhere like Montana, Idaho, or Washington, and open a senior dog care center/ranch, and have them either live out their days with us or be adopted. I want horses too. :)

I want to live somewhere safe, where I can keep my doors unlocked at night and know i'll be okay. I want to be somewhere close to school for my kids, somewhere I know they will get a proper education.

But at the same time, I want isolation/privacy. On a lake. With nature. With family. With love. I don't like the city life...I prefer quiet nights with an open sky full of stars.

Topic for next time: three significant memories from your childhood.

Blog challenge day 18

Today's challenge has been in the back of my mind for a few days now, and it's time to put it out there. If you've forgotten, the question is, what is the most difficult thing you have had to forgive? A couple of things come to mind, but I think the one thing that burns the most is the one thing I haven't completely forgiven yet. Does that still count? If it's a work in progress that may never be resolved, can it still be considered? It doesn't seem right, but really I can't think of anything else that was too hard to forgive. A few examples, before I get to the juice...

My fathers suicide. Forgiving him and myself was hard. I blamed myself for YEARS because I didn't call him on Christmas (he committed suicide two days later). I thought maybe if I had, he'd still be here. Working through the pain and realizing that there were a lot more issues was a tough one to accept, I'll admit that. And of course I was upset at him...we were just getting things going! How DARE he do that! But as I've gotten older and gotten to know all different kinds of people I've realized that even the ones who put on the strongest face suffer on the inside sometimes. I know that there were things going on internally that maybe I'll never fully comprehend and I can't blame him for those things. Accepting those things made it a little a lot easier to forgive.

Things that happened in my childhood that I will not put out there. All I will say is that it's in the past, and I will have a better childhood when I have children of my own. No one should go through what my siblings and my mom went through. The past is the past, and I am better for it.

Friends that I have lost for absolutely no reason...or at least none that were given to me. Honestly, I don't have time to save something that does not want to be saved.

Alright, the meat and potatoes.

Her.

She has said and done things that no one should say and do. She has brainwashed him to the point of no return and completely transformed him into a different person. I would not recognize him if I ran into him today. Does it hurt? Yes, it absolutely breaks my heart. But, I have people in my life now how genuinely care for my well being and that helps me not constantly think about it. This goes back to the idea of my childhood in a way, because I vow to have my children close in age and raise them to believe that family is absolutely everything and if you meet someone along the way who tries to change that perspective, they are wrong...and if you fall for it, shame on you. I can't wrap my head around how he's easily so...manipulated. Sure, I'm submissive by nature too, but I would never completely disown those who sheltered me for...well, my entire life!

Part of me wants to say forget it, let it go, all is forgiven...except I've been down that road before.
Some things never change.
Which is why it's so hard to forgive. It's still too soon for me to say it. As much as I would love to, to have his daughter in my life, to know her life...I cannot do it because of the woman he sleeps next to. So instead of gaining a new member of my family, I lose three.

Worth it?

I don't know. As mean as it sounds, I'm still alive and I'm doing alright. That's not to say I don't think about him everyday and would love to write her telling her exactly what's on my mind...but I know how she operates, I know that she always has to be right so it would do no good.

So I go on living. I have my amazing husband, my best friend in WA, and amazing shipmates who help me through the best and worst of times.

This has been the most difficult thing I've ever had to (try to) forgive.

Next topic: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

Blog challenge day 17

Today's topic: Describe the thing you wish you were most great at.

Wow, so many things come to mind. I wish I could be a better debater. I wish I could be wittier. I wish I could be a better swimmer. I wish I knew how to bake. I wish I could sew.

People say you are your own worst critic. That is sooo the case with me!

I guess to narrow it down for the purpose of this blog topic, I wish I was most great at creativity. That way i could put it into every aspect of my life - cooking, decorating, baking, cleaning, etc. I'm okay at it right now, but there is always room for improvement. :)

Stay tuned. Next topic is: What is the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

Blog challenge day 16

Today's topic. 5 greatest accomplishments:

-Getting my associates degree. Not only am I the first in my family to do it, it made me feel like I sort of knew where I was going in my life. Little did I know that I would be thrown a whole different curveball, but I'm okay with that! It has put me ahead in my Navy career and I'm thankful for that.

-Joining the military. Sure, I have bad days and I have great days. But no matter what, I start each day with a new, positive attitude and I try to rub that off on my peers. I'm not always successful but hey, at least I'm happy. :) I didn't join to be a boatswains mate either, but there is so much that I can learn from it and do everyday, that it's not a bad gig.

-Getting married. Okay, so I didn't marry my high school sweetheart like I always wanted to. But that's because I didn't have one. Derek re-entered my life six months after we graduated high school and we have been untouchable and inseparable ever since. I won't bore you with the details of my fairy tale, but I'm blessed and happy and to me, that's all that matters.

-Getting a NAM. In military lingo, that's a Navy Marine Corps Achievement Medal. People don't usually get it until the end of their tour, and if they get it before that, they have to do something pretty damn spectacular to get it...my efforts during our biggest inspection, INSURV, (don't ask what that stands for) definitely earned me the right to get one. If I could, I would give everyone in my division one, because we all worked our asses off.

-Only having three jobs prior to joining the military. I have always been a commitment girl. I hold on to what I love. I worked in a casino, at an Olive Garden, and at a Holiday Inn Express before I signed a contract with the worlds greatest Navy. I pride myself on that because most people go from job to job and i know a lot of employers don't like to see that. On the other hand, some like to know that people are "experienced." Oh well, I'm proud of it regardless.

Stay tuned next time: Describe the thing you most wish you were great at.

Blog challenge day 15

Today's challenge: if you were an animal, what would you be and why?

This is actually hard! But that's mostly because I love all animals and I am indecisive. I guess though, if I could be any animal, I would be a dog.

They are misunderstood.
They are way smarter than they are given credit for.
They are incredibly forgiving.
They are protective.
They depend on us for food and water (unless they are forced into unfortunate circumstances).
They love to cuddle and think they're lap dogs no matter how big they are!

At least my dogs are. So if I could be a dog, I would want to be a direct reflection of them...because they are the best! :)

Tomorrow's challenge: What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

Blog challenge day 14

Five strengths.

1. I see the potential in people and I have a lot of faith in them, even when things around the world get really hard.

2. I am full of passion.

3. I am great at multi tasking, and I love doing it.

4. My friends, family, and my husband are my strength. I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have are amazing.

5. I am forgiving. This could also be a weakness, I suppose, but I choose to view it as a strength because life is too short to hold a grudge forever. If I forgive and move on, even if I don't get what I want out of it, then it makes me a better person.