I've been thinking a lot over the past couple of weeks about something that may come off as surprising.
Now, before I proceed, let me tell you a bit about myself. I was engaged and married at age 23. I do not regret a single moment of it. I do not have any children, nor am I a subject matter expert about what I am about to talk about. I have a two year degree in paralegal studies, and a more than full time job in the United States Navy. My husband has his high school diploma and wants to join the police force.
This, and a few other reasons, is why I think it's a good idea to wait until 30 to have kids. Let me elaborate.
My husband and I have been together since we were 19. We hit it off and I just knew that we would be something special.
People say that our 20s is the time for self-exploration, to just enjoy, etc...I do agree with that. Most people go to college, graduate with a Bachelor's right around age 22-23. Then they get married and start their new lives in debt and in love. Then a baby comes.
Others start out in debt with no degree and an "oops" happens, so they never really get to catch up on the bills they have. It's stressful.
By the time 30 comes around, we should have a better understanding of our strengths and weaknesses in regards to money, our relationship, and ourself. Or so I would hope.
Money. That is HUGE. No one is ever financially ready to have a baby. They are expensive. But there is a time when we are more prepared than not, and I think by 30 we have made enough mistakes to know better.
Given my own situation, if I wait till 30, my oldest child will be 13 by the time I retire, which is PERFECT. I won't have to worry about missing out on big moments in their life.
Also, let's say I get pregnant in the next few months. It is almost selfish of me to bring a child into the world when my husband isn't where he wants to be. And, we have two very rowdy dogs. And we aren't where I would like us to be financially. We just...aren't ready. Personally or professionally.
Now I know that "age is just a number," but with age comes wisdom, knowledge, and experience. I want the absolute best for my kids, as we all do. Waiting is that "best."
:)
Thoughts?
Emily you are very smart and waiting is a good choice I had my first child at 23 and dont get me wrong i do not regret it and the situation at the time i made my choice and i had 2 other children after that and i love them all. i do sometimes think what my life would of been like had i waited i still would of had the children but i would of been able to provide for them better and that i do regret cause i wanted o give my kids the best And when the day comes when you do become a mom you will be a wonderful one and they will love you as much as i do
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should set anything in stone. If you're on birth control, then you're probably covered, until you both decide to stop. But shit can still happen.
ReplyDeleteIt's smart to wait. But you've seen idiocracy. You two need to reproduce a bunch, because the world needs those genetics spread against the wave of fucking retards being born and ruining our species.
ha, you're so right lol. I think it's best for us to wait. Maybe not till 30 but damn near. There are things that both of us need to do before we bring children into this world...
ReplyDeleteIt took me a little longer, but I am starting to feel you here. Something about "30" feels so old... even though it isn't.
ReplyDeleteI know, I've thought about that too. But just think about all the things you can provide for your child when you're more prepared for it. Not to sound cliche, but you're only as old as you feel... ;)
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