Reading a friends note on Facebook has inspired some thinking. There was a question on a forum she was a part of asking who would she love more: her child, or her husband? My answer is this...
Now I realize I don't have any children, but I think this question can be answered without them, given my views on marriage, love, and the like.
Despite that motherhood is something I am overly excited for and absolutely cannot wait to experience, I will say that I will love my husband more. Think about it. We choose our mates and we choose to have child(ren) at some point in our lives. We birth them, raise them, and hope that they will go on to make something of themselves and start their own life. But then they leave. Once they're gone, we're left again with our mate...to rediscover, reinvent the relationship, or do whatever it is people do once the kids are gone. For me, that kind of love is forever...there is no
Love is around us in many different forms. I love my dogs, my family, my friends, I love my husband, and I can say with great, absolute conviction that I will love my children. I love them all the same, equally, but for different things and in different ways.
What would your answer be? Do you have children, or are you using your imagination?
Now I realize I don't have any children, but I think this question can be answered without them, given my views on marriage, love, and the like.
Despite that motherhood is something I am overly excited for and absolutely cannot wait to experience, I will say that I will love my husband more. Think about it. We choose our mates and we choose to have child(ren) at some point in our lives. We birth them, raise them, and hope that they will go on to make something of themselves and start their own life. But then they leave. Once they're gone, we're left again with our mate...to rediscover, reinvent the relationship, or do whatever it is people do once the kids are gone. For me, that kind of love is forever...there is no
Love is around us in many different forms. I love my dogs, my family, my friends, I love my husband, and I can say with great, absolute conviction that I will love my children. I love them all the same, equally, but for different things and in different ways.
What would your answer be? Do you have children, or are you using your imagination?
I don't think it's really fair to have to choose between the two...the love is different.
ReplyDeleteWhile I don't think you'll have to worry about it, many couples split up when they have kids. What do you think your answer would be at that point? ;) Given that answer, does it affect your response to the original query?
That's a fair question. When we got married, I said I do with the intention of never letting go...divorce isn't in our vocabulary. His parents have been together forever, and I have obviously seen what divorce does to a family, and I don't want that in mine. But, for the sake of argument, let's say, very hypothetically that it did happen. I believe that regardless of circumstances, I would always love him...especially because we would bring a new life into the world and raise it together. You are right that the love is different, but it never fades. Would I love him more than my child if we were to separate? Probably not, but I'd be grateful.
ReplyDeleteThat hypothetical does affect my response to the original query for obvious reasons...but again, it's not an option for us. ESPECIALLY once we factor children in.
If my parents hadn't divorced from their first marriages, I wouldn't exist. Just a thought for your thought book.
ReplyDeleteI think you are right though. You love your husband because together you love your child(ren) more than anything in the world.
You are totally right Stacy, and sometimes I forget that your parents were married before they found eachother...sometimes it just doesn't work out between two people, and it's not my or anyone else's business to try to figure out why or judge them. I'm just saying that it doesn't work out for me to be divorced. I feel like I got it right the first time, I was lucky, and Derek is going to be an amazing father, which I cannot wait for. And it will make me fall in love with him even more because I will have never seen him in that light.
ReplyDeleteI got it right the first time, too ;)
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