"Good luck with that," most of them say.
"Why?" Some of them ask.
"Aren't you going on a deployment soon? You're going to NEED it on deployment!!" They explain.
As always, there are those who laugh it off, give me 'the look' and go on with our conversation.
What I need right now is support from those around me.
I looked my husband in the eyes last night and asked him, "will you support me if I want to quit drinking completely?" He said yes. And he also said he'd support my cutting out meat 100%.
It may go without saying that it is extremely hard to be in my situation and try to stop. Like I said before, YOU have to want it 100%.
The thing about me is, I love attention. I love being the life of the party. Most of the time I will use alcohol to get me there. Part of me feels like alcohol has stunted my growth...set me back a few years so that I am 25 but act 19. I need to get where I was at 19..with goals and a mind set. I need a passion that will set me free, not one that makes me feel trapped. That's one thing about the navy...yes, they take care of us (I wouldn't have this house or medical without them) but there are so many guidelines to follow and restrictions. Even though I make the most of it, myself (and my shipmates, I'm sure) find the bottle as an excuse to escape. It's going to be difficult to find something else for a release...
There comes a moment when you wake up and realize how tired you are of the same shit. I think I've reached that point. I am ready to be a mom, to be a role model and raise a family...but I can't do that until I overcome this...I have to be strong, because if I'm not, how will I show that I'm ready to bring a life into the world?
I think by this point i'm just rambling. It hasn't been easy, but it will be worth it. That's what I've been told, anyway.
"Why?" Some of them ask.
"Aren't you going on a deployment soon? You're going to NEED it on deployment!!" They explain.
As always, there are those who laugh it off, give me 'the look' and go on with our conversation.
What I need right now is support from those around me.
I looked my husband in the eyes last night and asked him, "will you support me if I want to quit drinking completely?" He said yes. And he also said he'd support my cutting out meat 100%.
It may go without saying that it is extremely hard to be in my situation and try to stop. Like I said before, YOU have to want it 100%.
The thing about me is, I love attention. I love being the life of the party. Most of the time I will use alcohol to get me there. Part of me feels like alcohol has stunted my growth...set me back a few years so that I am 25 but act 19. I need to get where I was at 19..with goals and a mind set. I need a passion that will set me free, not one that makes me feel trapped. That's one thing about the navy...yes, they take care of us (I wouldn't have this house or medical without them) but there are so many guidelines to follow and restrictions. Even though I make the most of it, myself (and my shipmates, I'm sure) find the bottle as an excuse to escape. It's going to be difficult to find something else for a release...
There comes a moment when you wake up and realize how tired you are of the same shit. I think I've reached that point. I am ready to be a mom, to be a role model and raise a family...but I can't do that until I overcome this...I have to be strong, because if I'm not, how will I show that I'm ready to bring a life into the world?
I think by this point i'm just rambling. It hasn't been easy, but it will be worth it. That's what I've been told, anyway.
People can be cruel. They don't even know they are sabotaging everything just by a raised eyebrow or one more shove on a request. They're trying to be your friend but don't put forth enough effort to do so properly.
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