I don't know if you know, but I struggle with alcohol. Not hard alcohol. Not mixed drinks. Not even beer. I LOVE Mike's Hard Lemonade. Even if it gives me a stomachache, even if I have to drink two to feel something, I love it. Especially after a hard days work.
And that's exactly the problem.
I come from a long line of alcoholics. That's why it's scary. Alcoholism and addiction is genetic, and I've known I've had the gene for as long as I have learned what alcohol was. I've always known I have to be careful because of that. That didn't stop me.
I have always known about how dangerous it is. I've always known what it can do to your body - your liver, your brain, etc. That hasn't stopped me because I was never dependent. I didn't drink the hard stuff. I never downed a fifth by myself...I never ... needed it.
It used to be that I could drink one Mikes - one bottle, 5% alcohol, and feel something. Now, I have to drink two cans, 8% alcohol in order to get even a little buzz. I know that's a problem. Even if it is "just Mikes." Alcohol is alcohol. I can tell it's not just affecting me anymore.
That's why I'm grateful for a program through my work called IMPACT. It's a two and a half day course where you sit around and learn about alcohol from a different perspective. You even have to go to an AA meeting (which is where I'm about to go now - more on that later). I can't tell you when I realized that it's helped so much, it just did. Maybe it was today, when a chief nearly brought me to tears telling his 'how I got here' story. If I can quit drinking now, I'll be able to get so much more from the Navy and from my life.
And that's exactly the problem.
I come from a long line of alcoholics. That's why it's scary. Alcoholism and addiction is genetic, and I've known I've had the gene for as long as I have learned what alcohol was. I've always known I have to be careful because of that. That didn't stop me.
I have always known about how dangerous it is. I've always known what it can do to your body - your liver, your brain, etc. That hasn't stopped me because I was never dependent. I didn't drink the hard stuff. I never downed a fifth by myself...I never ... needed it.
It used to be that I could drink one Mikes - one bottle, 5% alcohol, and feel something. Now, I have to drink two cans, 8% alcohol in order to get even a little buzz. I know that's a problem. Even if it is "just Mikes." Alcohol is alcohol. I can tell it's not just affecting me anymore.
That's why I'm grateful for a program through my work called IMPACT. It's a two and a half day course where you sit around and learn about alcohol from a different perspective. You even have to go to an AA meeting (which is where I'm about to go now - more on that later). I can't tell you when I realized that it's helped so much, it just did. Maybe it was today, when a chief nearly brought me to tears telling his 'how I got here' story. If I can quit drinking now, I'll be able to get so much more from the Navy and from my life.
I just got home from an AA meeting. I LOVED it. I learned so much, felt so comfortable...i might even go back! Even if i never call myself an alcoholic...i'm always welcome there, which is wonderful. It's saved a lot of people.
So now i am officially attempting to end my struggle. Only this time, i will come out on top. I'll keep you posted.
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