Over the past few weeks, I have done a lot of thinking. I have come to the conclusion that I understand why people are unfaithful to their spouses.
That doesn't make it okay.
That doesn't make it right.
That doesn't mean I'm going to do it.
But I understand it now.
Especially from a military perspective.
We are gone a lot. It gets lonely being one of the few happily committed people on the ship and not getting to talk to/see your spouse everyday.
And to look at it from the other side, the spouse is probably lonely, too. They come home from work to an empty, quiet house, alone with their thoughts. Maybe they have friends, maybe they don't. But they are fighting the battle too.
I used to hear about people cheating on their boyfriends/girlfriends/wives/husbands and immediately lose respect for them without even knowing the story or understanding what they were going through. I was close minded to the fact that maybe they had reached an understanding in their marriage that made it okay for them. Not all marriages are as conventional as they used to be. Not all marriages are united by God. Some are just between two people and a piece of paper. And that's okay.
Now don't jump to conclusions about this post. I understand that not everyone shares my perspective. It does not apply to my own marriage! I am simply stating that I have realized that sometimes people step outside their comfort zone to find something else that brings them pleasure and I am okay with that. I find it fascinating, really.
I'm not encouraging it by any means, either. Just simply sharing an opinion on my personal blog. Please comment with your own opinions!
That doesn't make it okay.
That doesn't make it right.
That doesn't mean I'm going to do it.
But I understand it now.
Especially from a military perspective.
We are gone a lot. It gets lonely being one of the few happily committed people on the ship and not getting to talk to/see your spouse everyday.
And to look at it from the other side, the spouse is probably lonely, too. They come home from work to an empty, quiet house, alone with their thoughts. Maybe they have friends, maybe they don't. But they are fighting the battle too.
I used to hear about people cheating on their boyfriends/girlfriends/wives/husbands and immediately lose respect for them without even knowing the story or understanding what they were going through. I was close minded to the fact that maybe they had reached an understanding in their marriage that made it okay for them. Not all marriages are as conventional as they used to be. Not all marriages are united by God. Some are just between two people and a piece of paper. And that's okay.
Now don't jump to conclusions about this post. I understand that not everyone shares my perspective. It does not apply to my own marriage! I am simply stating that I have realized that sometimes people step outside their comfort zone to find something else that brings them pleasure and I am okay with that. I find it fascinating, really.
I'm not encouraging it by any means, either. Just simply sharing an opinion on my personal blog. Please comment with your own opinions!
Makes sense to me.
ReplyDeleteAgreed, not something worth doing, but definitely something that happens for often valid (though often unforgivable) reasons.
I agree with you. I totally do. But I can see the other side, too. Not that I agree with that by any means, but people are people and there's nothing I can do to change their minds unfortunately.
ReplyDeletei agree with Josh there is absolutely no reason to cheat especially when one person is in the military im close to someone who was in viet nam and while he was fighting for our country his wife was cheating on him and when he came home he started drinking thinking that would change things well it didnt he has since turned his life around and is happily married to someone else so it does show that when you have someone to help you and encourage you to never give up you can have a better life
ReplyDeleteI think a big reason why people cheat is because they are afraid of rejection and/or don't know how to effectively communicate their needs. People don't realize how simple it is to address an issue and work it out as a team before going to someone else thinking that will help. If someone is afraid to do that, they shouldn't be married and honestly probably have much bigger issues with themselves.
ReplyDeleteI think it is sad when spouses cheat on their deployed loved one. again though, we don't know everyone's situation. Maybe that's okay in their relationship. Like you, I'm old fashioned and don't agree with it. But for so many, marriage isn't built on the foundations of what it used to be built on. Polygamy is a growing thing now. It's not my place to judge anothers relationship.