Frustrated and needing to vent

I do not want to 'get used' to sleeping alone. I am a big girl, I can do it.

I do want to be at the next level in my relationship before I ship. Four years is long enough, we can handle it...even if we have only done long distance for a couple months tops. It will make us stronger and it's what we need.

Yes, he plays video games a lot. And we don't get out much. But life isn't what it was when we were 19 years old. We have jobs and bills and separate schedules. We make time for eachother and we are spontaneous when it counts.

I love him, and I see potential in him. It's my relationship, my life...so can we just leave it alone?

5 in 5

I was reading some of my older posts, and I came across one from a WBT back in January called 5 in 5...basically, five different scenarios of where I see myself in 5 years. Back then I REALLY wanted a baby. Crazy how almost a year can change things... here's an updated list :)

-In five years I will be just getting out of the navy if I don't decide to re-enlist. This will warrant us the opportunity to move somewhere fresh, or move back to Washington.

-We are married and despite that i'm in the navy, we got pregnant. it's all good because i've been in for about 2 years now. He's working at a job he loves and will do the whole "mr. mom" thing while i'm at sea.

-Turns out, something really stupid got me disqualified from joining the Navy and being shipped out. So here we are, still in Sequim and I'm settling for a less-than-what-I'm-capable-of job. Luckily though, D went to school and just graduated and landed himself a once in a lifetime opportunity type of job so we're moving. He will make enough so I don't have to work if I don't want to.

-I'm back in school finishing up my bachelor's degree, preparing to go to Officer Candidate School.

-We are going to adopt! Social services really likes us and likes the fact that I am in a 'position of power' with my job...things are looking up! I got to see a lot of the world while at sea so I'm prepared and ready for the amazing opportunities of motherhood! :)

Kinda pathetic, I know...

In less than a month, D and I will celebrate 4 years of togetherness. It's crazy to think how quickly it went by, and how when I was younger I never thought I would last in a relationship this long... I always wondered how people did it... I mean, wouldn' t they run out of things to talk about? Wouldn't it get boring, waking up with the same person everyday? Wouldn't it be so routine, so practiced, that it would be predictable and get old?

No.

He is my best friend...he sees me on my best and worst days and loves me anyway. We never run out of things to talk about and we're still learning about each other. I love him so much it hurts sometimes.

Which is why this whole graveyard shift thing is so hard for me.

Last night especially...I don't know why, but I couldn't sleep without him. Usually having Leo (our puppy) on the bed helps, because he takes up the place that D would...but Leo was snoring last night which didn't help matters at all. I almost cried myself to sleep because I miss him, and we've seen so little of each other lately...

It seems stupid, and maybe a little pathetic..but when you get used to the luxury of sleeping next to the same person for years and then the schedule changes, it's not fun nor easy. He sleeps when I'm awake now, and vice versa.

I know we'll have to get used to it in < 6 months, but we have that much time still and I don't want to. :(

Working out

Wow. Tonight I found out how out of shape I really am. Case in point: I cannot do one push up. Properly, that is. My form is all sorts of messed up, I can't get myself straight...and lord knows it's hard enough for me to go down and bring myself up all the way.

But I'm trying. I won't give up. The goal before I go to sleep is to do at least five solid push ups. Then tomorrow, I will do the forsaken run I've been putting off. I really like running...or at least I used to...we'll see how I do!

My sit ups are ok. The problem I have with them is that my butt slides and I can't stay in the same position for long...so technically, they're not "proper" sit ups.

This is harder than I thought.. :/

Word to the wise: next time a skinny person says they need to get in shape, don't look at them like they just insinuated they are 500 pounds...that's NOT what we're saying. What we're saying is what we said: we need to get in shape...starting by changing our diet, cutting out what's bad for us, and taking care of ourselves...

My military journey. I'm a guest blogger on the website bootcamp4me.com and have submitted a few entries.

Read about it http://www.bootcamp4me.com/2011/11/i-love-a-good-challenge/ and http://www.bootcamp4me.com/2011/11/emilys-journey/

The admin of the site said to keep the entries coming - I have over 300 views! How exciting is that!

Wrapping it up

This was dinner tonight! It's stuffed pasta shells...stuffed with ground turkey, 3 different kinds of cheeses, chopped onion, a little garlic, and other spices such as pepper, parsley, etc...see description below!

So here we are on the eve of my last day off. I will return to work early tomorrow, 6am to be exact, and I feel like I have accomplished absolutely nothing.

I am charging my ipod as I type this, so maybe that will inspire something out of me...(because music helps people get up, ya know..)

Tomorrow, I get off work at 1, and I will walk from there to where my parents work. I'm not sure how long it is, but it should make up for my lack of exercise this weekend. They don't want me to do it because the weather is supposed to be bad, but since D will be at a football game, there really is no other choice. Maybe THAT'S the kind of motivation I need, otherwise it won't get done..

Tonight I made dinner all by myself. It was probably the most time consuming thing I've ever put together. Read below the photo for the ingredients.

Anyway, tonight I am thankful that D has a job. Even though we're spending lots more time apart because of it, (mostly the time we sleep together) it will be helpful when bills are due. He has a shift coming up that starts at 9pm and gets over at 6am...and I work at 1pm that afternoon, so I likely won't even see him. :/

The next few days

Day 9 --- I am thankful for beautiful pacific northwest weather in November. It keeps everyone's spirits high and I love that.

So it's my Friday, and I haven't been this excited for a "weekend" in a long time.

Here's what's on my itinerary:

Starting tonight after I get off work:
-go to D's parents house and hang out, awaiting the midnight release of Skyrim.
-watch D play Skyrim for whoknowshowlong...
-wake up, go for a run and do other exercises (mostly cardio/pushups/situps)

-come back, start a load of laundry
-clean the bathroom while the washer is going
-move on to the kitchen, do the dishes, wipe counters, etc.
-fold and put away clean clothes, possibly (ok, probably) start a new load
-clean room/make bed etc
-do more cardio

-feed the dogs/rabbits/cats
-fold second load of clothes

-parents should be home shortly after this, so I let them settle in and start on dinner. It's either going to be homemade mac n' cheese with steamed veggies or stuffed pasta.

-try a new recipe: get honey mustard marinade, marinate the grilled chicken and let it sit overnight and prepare (probably bake) over rice.

Anyway, that's my plan. I'm so excited for trying out new things! :)

Thankful, day10 --
I am thankful for food!:)

I have a lot on my mind

So, I've been thinking of everything I have going on in my life lately. I don't really know where to start, so bear with me as my thoughts are jumbled and out of place. Here are some questions that are floating through my head...

Why am I so lazy about working out?

When are we ever going to be financially stable again?

^^ How did that get so out of control?!

Whatever happened to my list of "what I want in a husband?"

lajdsfjajgjdlaskjdfkjslkdfa; it's hard to think sometimes. :(

Day 8: today, I am thankful that I have a full-time job. Unfortunately, however, it is the slow season which leaves my mind to wander by itself sometimes...thus, the above. :/

Thankful day 7

I went to bed so early last night that I forgot about my blog.

Day 7 --

I am thankful for my family. The quirks, the little moments, everything.

Thankful day 6

Today, I am thankful for sweet sleep and flannel sheets.

Goodnight, readers.

PS --

Oh, I forget to mention one thing...

At my DEP meeting last Thursday (it's a monthly meeting for those of us in the Delayed Entry Program with the Navy) I made a very big decision...

Remember how I asked my recruiter to look into yeoman for me? Well, I changed my mind.

After talking to D about our future, and already changing my ship date once, I decided to stick with boatswain's mate. Why? Here it is:

That is a job I would never choose in a million years if it were offered next to yeoman or any other administration type job. It will challenge me, make me stronger, and I may just like it.

My recruiter's boss was there and he asked us all our ship date, job, and where we went to high school, and then told us a bit about our job. There is someone in my group that will be going in as a yeoman, (which I didn't know, haha) and when he got to him, he said "meh, lots of paperwork.." which, yes I love (I know, I'm crazy) ... but then I realized that's a lot of what I do now, being a receptionist, and I find myself always looking for things to do and my brain isn't being challenged. In other words, it's really routine, which is nice on one hand, but it gets old fast.

So on the way home, I texted my recruiter and told him to forget about looking into yeoman for me. I'm excited about where boatswain's mate will take me.

And hey, if I do end up hating it, I don't have to re-enlist in four years (but I have a feeling I'm going to like it).

Thankful day 5

Today....I am thankful for great music.

It is mood altering. Can turn a bad day into a great one. Can make you laugh, make you think, change your beliefs...

It can motivate you to get moving. It's really a beautiful thing.

I don't know what I'd be without the power of music.

Thankful day 4

Today I am thankful for my puppy Leo. I have had lots of dogs as pets before, and I have loved them all...but there is something about Leo...there's also something about raising a dog from the time they're just a few months old until they're old. He is so loyal, so loving, so SPOILED...I just love this dog to pieces. He came into our lives at a time when we were trying to move back home...it probably wasn't the best time, to be honest. But the first time I saw him, my heart melted. He will cuddle when you're cold (or sad), sleep at your feet, and love you unconditionally. He's such a great dog and the perfect addition to our family. <3

Thankful

Like so many are doing on facebook, I will post, everyday in the month of November, what I am thankful for ... Since it's already day 3, I will do three things!

Day 1- I am thankful for a beautiful life.
Day 2- I am thankful that I have family who makes me laugh.
Day 3- I am thankful that I was given the chance/opportunity to join the Navy. I think I'm making the right choice. :)

More to come in the morning. :)

Pre-boot workout

Yesterday, I vowed to start my pre-boot camp boot camp. I want to be as physically ready as I possibly can be...and as it stands today, I have a long ways to go. I want to be able to run the 1.5 mile in 8 minutes or less, considering in high school I could do a mile in 7:06 (that was my best time..) but that was almost 4 years ago, and I haven't really ran since.

My push ups and sit ups are a joke...and I try to get up early, like 0600 or 0700 when I'm not working, but the blankets are so warm..lol

I am trying to cut soda and candy out of my diet. I am drinking a lot of water. And by a lot, I mean three bottles a day, which is a TON for me (and that's probably not even what I should be drinking...)

I guess it's time to break out the yoga mat.. how do ya'll get motivated to get out of bed and go run?

Leo

I love my puppy. He climbed in here the second his daddy got up. I can't wake him up. He's so precious!

Navy

So I got a FB message from a friend of mine who has been in the navy since 2009 and who also went to high school with me. He knows I want yeoman for a rate, and he told me that as of today they are undermanned and I'd get it if I still wanted it.

I called my recruiter and asked him to look into it for me because of course I still want it!

Keep your fingers crossed for me, friends.

Oh, and please, pray for my friend Les. He lost his father yesterday. Also keep his fiance (and my best friend) Stacy in your thoughts. They're going through a hard time now. Thank you.

Here's a thought...

I have little to no idea what I want in life.

Well, that's not true.

I know what I want in life.

I think.

Or at least, I know what I don't want.

Sort of.

Maybe knowing what I don't want will help me figure out what I do want.

Or just making a decision.

Making a plan and sticking to it.

Not feeling guilty for the choices I've made or will make.

Just...living. Breathing. Loving. Enjoying myself.

We'll see.

God

God (and religion) is a subject I don't really talk about with friends. He wasn't really a major part of my upbringing, and I didn't hang out with the kind of people who were religious - and if they were, they didn't really talk about it, either. Sure, I went to AWANA on Wednesday nights for a while, but that was short lived...not because I didn't like it, but because I got in trouble once (for not doing my chores or something like that) and wasn't allowed to go anymore.

The first six years of my life led me to believe that there was no God, and the people who believed in him were hypocrites. I won't go into the graphic details, but it's been hard to trust people who call themselves Christian.

I let myself go to a church in Bellingham and absolutely loved it. It was a non denominational Christian church called Oikos. The dress was casual, people were genuine, and the pastor really made you feel like family. I stopped going there because we moved.

Now, I get the feeling I'm missing something again. I know it's not a baby, because we aren't ready for that. I know that I need a God in my life...I need that faith. I have morals, but I just need to believe.

I need to be baptized. That didn't happen when I was younger, because I was "too little." (I was about 5...and the next day I saw a newborn baby get baptized, so I knew something was up...) I think committing to that is really a symbol that you're committing your being and your life to something greater than yourself.

Feedback?

I do solemnly swear...

--From this day forward, money will not take over me.

--From this day forward, I will not take my relationship(s) for granted.

--From this day forward, I will not be afraid to speak my mind.

--From this day forward, I will rely on no one but myself.

--From this day forward, I will learn to love myself.

What's your opinion of ex's being friends on social networking sites? Ex's who haven't dated in nearly five years...ex's who haven't spoken in just about as long...but an ex whom you had pretty strong feelings for...an ex who was your first love.

Yeah, he requested me on FB. Those close to me know how I felt about him...I was young and completely crazy. We had some really great times & I don't regret the experience...but I think being friends again, even if it is on a Web site, isn't the best idea. On the other hand, it's not like we're meeting up for lunch...it's not like we'd really even "talk" to each other.

I can't speak for him, but I'm happy today. I'm in a really good relationship, finally feeling like I might have a chance to be somebody. I'm not the same seventeen year old I was when we were together. I haven't completely changed either, but I know myself a little better.

Chances are I'm reading too much into this, as I usually do. Maybe he really does just want to see what's new in my life...maybe he doesn't want to persuade me to get back together... or, maybe I'm just as naive as I was then. Who knows...

What would you do? We were only together for about 8 months, and that was a few years ago...but as I said, he was my first love...so it's not like we "dated" in seventh grade and he moved away and then moved back or something...we were kinda serious. Would you add him or leave him in the past?

I miss being in school. I miss the crazy feeling of being stressed out because of deadlines. I miss being around people constantly, making new friends, being challenged intellectually...

At the same time, of course, I'm glad I'm done with it (for now - I do want to go back someday!) I just don't feel like I have enough going on in my life...but I think that's because I'm lazy and full of excuses. I could be working out, I could be studying my START guide for the Navy...I could help my mom around the house more. There are things I definitely need to prepare for before I leave. I have five months, though...and they will go fast, but I don't want it to consume me..

What do my faithful readers do to motivate themselves?

I don't really know what to say. A lot is going on, I suppose, but it feels so routine that if I share it'll be the same old story.

I guess since my work knows now, I can publicly share that I joined the Navy...but that's kind of old news at this point. I leave in March, which is right around the time that M and E are going to have their babies!

M and M are back together, which is also public knowledge by this point. She's so happy, they're so happy..I am glad she found happiness again. Ugh, that was redundant.

Anyway, I'm still same old me. Not much else to say...

I died today...

I died today. You got tired of me and took me to the shelter. They were overcrowded and I drew an unlucky number. I am in a black plastic bag in a landfill now. Some other puppy will get the barely used leash you left. My collar was dirty and too small, but the lady took it off before she sent me to the Rainbow Bridge . Would I still be at home if I hadn’t chewed your shoe? I didn’t know what it was, but it was leather, and it was on the floor. I was just playing. You forgot to get puppy toys. Would I still be at home if I had been housebroken? Rubbing my nose in what I did only made me ashamed that I had to go at all. There are books and obedience teachers that would have taught you how to teach me to go to the door. Would I still be at home if I hadn’t brought fleas into the house? Without anti-flea medicine, I couldn’t get them off of me after you left me in the yard for days. Would I still be at home if I hadn’t barked? I was only saying, “I’m scared, I’m lonely, I’m here, I’m here! I want to be your best friend.” Would I still be at home if I had made you happy? Hitting me didn’t make me learn how. Would I still be at home if you had taken the time to care for me and to teach manners to me? You didn’t pay attention to me after the first week or so, but I spent all my time waiting for you to love me. I died today. Love, Your Puppy

Does the past really make us stronger?

I've been thinking...do the things that happen to us in our lives that hurt us really make us stronger in the long run? Or do those events traumatize us so much that to relive them makes it hurt? Do the people we date who don't last really help us realize what we don't want in life, or keep us wondering what would have happened if we could have made it work?

There will always be the 'what if's' in life...we will always wonder how our lives would be if we would have taken a different path. The goal is to not regret where we are today or who we've become, but to instead embrace it and love ourselves, even when we can't look at ourselves in the mirror. We cannot dwell on the past, cannot change who we were when we were seventeen...

Dear you...

I feel like when I'm around you, I act like a child. I don't know why. It's like I crave your attention, because you weren't around when I was a child, so I want to make up for lost time. I hate it, because that's not me.

It's crazy how much I look up to you. How badly I want to get to know you. You say we're a lot alike...I can see in some ways, but not in others. I wish I had a life with you like I did with everyone else. I feel like if you'd been around, our bond would be unbreakable. The distance wouldn't matter, you wouldn't let it come between us.

Damn it, I hate that my walls come around you, that I am so insecure, childish. If I could get any part of my childhood back, it'd be the part where you weren't there, just so I could change it & make us closer...

finally home...but home free?

I feel like D and I are finally getting used to the idea of being back in Sequim. We haven't gotten our own place yet, but once we can get our bills taken care of we can start saving for something...anything, at this point. Ideally, I want to rent to own a house...but I just don't know if we're QUITE ready for that. It's hard, having Leo, to find a place because a lot of places don't allow pets -- and if they do, they have to be small. I'm getting my first paycheck in three days, so I think a lot of the stress that's been building up will go away because I'll put a dent in the bills we have.

Anyway, that concludes my boring life right now. Post more soon. xoxo

bills, bills, bills

So as most of you know, I've secured a job. It's a really cool job, something different than what I've done my whole life (even though part of it does involve food). I had two jobs, but I ended up not taking the job at Ross because my schedule at the Holiday Inn is so crazy right now that it'd be too overwhelming. The only thing I don't like about it is that it's minimum wage. I'm fine with being paid minimum wage, but I'm just not used to it because of the OG. I am getting full time hours though, so that's really awesome...I haven't worked full time in a while!

Unfortunately, my bills are two months behind because of moving, etc. So the totals for the month(s) are higher than usual..higher than I've seen in a while, actually. I won't get paid until the 20th, and the phone keeps ringing. I really hope we sell the Jeep so that some of that money can go towards bills. I wanted to start saving $50-$100 every paycheck, but I don't know if I can afford that yet...

I got the list of what I owe son rise. Instead of getting a deposit back, I owe them money. I knew it would happen, but I didn't know it would be as high as it is. It sucks, because it's my first apartment so it's gonna suck to have them as a rental reference. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it... :/

Anyway, I have to work at 6 a.m., so I'm gonna put the sheets on my bed then most likely catch some zzzz's. Night, loyal readers.

Been meaning to write this for a while

I am not pretty. Before you say "oh, yes you are Emily, don't say that!!" let me explain. I will say again. I am not pretty. My eyebrows are too thick and I don't know how to twease them. My hair is one color, which is faded back to my natural, and it's not layered anymore which makes me even more plain Jane. My nose is so small that someone always comments on it, which makes me feel worse. I look funny when I laugh, and ugly when I cry. I am not pretty.

If you look further, my hips are wideset, which offsets the rest of my body. I lost my abs (it's now just flab) which used to give me much joy. I eat way too much and my metabolism is not what it used to be. Don't even get me started on my thighs. My pants no longer fit, my butt has gotten cellulite, stretch mark type things, which I absolutely can't stand, and the rest of my legs are disproportional (hence why my uncle called me chicken legs, also partly why I refuse to wear shorts).

My fashion style leaves something to be desired. I wear socks with open foot-shoes. Don't ask me why, I just hate feet...mine especially.

My point of writing this is not to get attention. There really is no point, I guess, other than I feel like I've needed to get it out. I know I'm not perfect and I should love myself no matter what, but for me, that's hard to do. I've never been particularly popular, never known how to do my hair or makeup the "right way"...everything I know is self-taught.

That's no excuse. I'm not looking for sympathy. I just want someone to read it and know that if they feel the same way, they're not alone. And if they do feel that way, don't let it bring you down..

Update

We are back in Sequim, staying between our parents houses. I am frantically looking for work; I had NO IDEA it would be this hard to get a job!! I'm hoping for a call back from the Holiday Inn, it'd be a nice change from the food and beverage industry. But at the same time, a job is a job and I'll settle for almost anything.

There was a lot more I wanted to say, but I haven't been near a computer lately so most of those thoughts are now forgotten. If I remember and have privacy, I will jot them down. Otherwise, they'll be gone forever.

I'm gonna get going, gonna get some housework done! :)

Letting off steam

I'm just venting here. I am so excited to move, but scared at the same time. I never thought I'd want to go back to Sequim, because there was always nothing to do. But since I've been away I realized just how much I love that town!

We haven't set a move out date, but I'd like to asap, that way I can really get everything else squared away. We're thinking end of June, but again, we need an exact date.

I'm thrilled to start the next chapter of our lives.

WBT - If you were told to write a research paper on ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD and it had to be 20 pages long, what would your topic be & why?

My topic would be about animal rights and why the penalties for animal abuse should be stricter/enforced/more severe.
I would go into the history of serial killers, and how the majority (not all, of course, but most) have started their "streak" by killing animals. I would talk about the obvious facts that animals don't have a voice and need supporters. I would also say that animals would be a hell of a lot less dangerous if people were penalized for raising them to be "fighters" (and I might even use snipets from my piece on dog fighting that I did for my legal research class).
I would do it because I feel like it'd actually mean something. It would be hard for me, and I may get emotional, but if I could use it to benefit those without a voice, hell yeah I'd invest in it!!!

Staying organized -- WBT

How do I stay organized? Hmm... I write everything down. This does include putting things in my phone, since I don't always have pen/paper handy. If I have assignments due, I almost immediately put them in my planner. My planner is my friend! After that, I put the due date into my phone with a reminder a couple days beforehand, just so I don't forget. With bills/money, I need some work. My bills are pretty much due around the same time, so I simply remember them. The hard part for me is keeping track of money spent to make sure we have enough for bills. It sucks, because I don't write down what/how much I spend and neither does D, and we don't usually tell each other totals, so a lot of it isn't accounted for and can totally mess up our account balance. IT'S REALLY FRUSTRATING!! lol As for everything else in my life, well, it's organized chaos. And it usually works for me...until I find something better.

WBT - venting...very, very late

Where do I begin?

I am having a hard time enjoying my job these days. I can't say too much, because a girl I worked with just "resigned" (truth is she got fired) for something she posted on Facebook. Let's just say I'm very short tempered, and I'm counting down the months until I'm outta there. It's gotten to the point where I'd rather stay at home and clean then go to work...I would look for another job, but since we're moving in just a few months, I won't waste the effort.

On that note, I am beyond excited to get out of this town. I never thought I'd want to go back to Sequim, but I really do. I needed time to miss it. Our families are there, which will make the holidays and get togethers MUCH less stressful and more enjoyable!

I just looked at my grades from winter quarter, which totally made my morning. I did better than I expected. :) I'm looking forward to my LAST QUARTER EVER at Whatcom starting next week!

I don't really have much else to say, since I can't go into my true feelings about work. I need to go shopping at some point, we don't have a whole lot of food.

I also need to do laundry. The chores never seem to end.

Yesterday I did the dishes, and the dishwasher made them dirtier at the end than they were before I put them in! SO frustrating!

Okay, so I'm off to shower and get my day going. Hopefully I'll start feeling better too!

Time, money, opportunities :) WBT

If I had the time, money, and opportunity to do something new, what would it be? I've been thinking about this all week. There are obviously lots of things I want to do. I think the top of my list would be to take a road trip. I think it'd be a great growing and learning experience.

I'd want to see both the east and west coasts, then cycle through the rest of the U.S.

I would LOVE to learn major languages: Spanish, Italian, German...and be fluent at them. I took German classes in High School, but if you don't use the language, it becomes lost. Unfortunately it happened to me. Same story for Spanish.

Another thing I'd really like to do is become an interior designer. You couldn't tell from my own place, but I LOVE decorating. It's so much fun! So, with unlimited resources, I would like to learn the art of that. :)

WBT -- travels!

I'm a girl who has only been out of her home state twice. Once to Canada, once to Disneyland, both on field trips. So, as you might imagine, I'm DYING to see more parts of the world! Although I don't have any plans, I have dreams. And they involve lots of sunshine.
My first is the most realistic. I want to take a road trip between July and August of any given year. It's typically the warmest during those times. I want to tour the U.S., and I want to spend my nights beneath the stars, with nature and the love of my life beside me. I miss the nights when I was 17, 18, with some of my friends...they'd have their guitars, we'd have beer, we'd be down by the river carefree, loving life in the middle of summer...I would love to leave all this and start over somewhere new, but first taking the long way to get there.
I would ideally like to see Australia. I'm so desperate that any time of the year would suit me. Although I don't like winter, even that would make me happy. Any part would be fine. I don't know what about it is so appealing to me, I just feel like we'd get along. It's about as far away from home as I could get, and that doesn't really have anything to do with it, but it doesn't hurt the decision making process, either.
Second on my list would be Rome, Italy. For starters, I LOVE most everything about Italians - the culture, the language, and most importantly, the FOOD! For Italy, I'd like to go when the sun could beam down my back while reading a long love story.
In the states, I want to see Tennessee. I want to visit the Grand Ol Opry. I LOVE country music. There's not a doubt in my mind that I'd fall in love with it, that it would feel more like home to me than anywhere else. Any time of year.

Those are my top four destinations. I don't think it's too far fetched, do you?

Inatimate object -- WBT (a week late)

--Sorry this is late!!!--
(I chose my lovely Blackberry)
I am respected by my owner. She doesn't pound on my parts when she's in a hurry, she's mostly patient when I'm tired and not at my fastest, and she even gave me a blanket that keeps me safe and warm in case she drops me! If I'm down on my luck and feeling like I'm gonna leave this world, she quickly plugs me in and gives me lots of caffeine that keeps me going for at least 2 days. She doesn't like me to leave her.
I don't really like when she keeps me stuffed in her purse. It doesn't happen very often, but I'm afraid of the dark, so it's scary when it does. I know she doesn't do it on purpose, but because of my blanket, I don't fit in her pocket. At least I have my friend that plays music with me. :)
I'm even with her at work, and I hear everything she tells her co-workers, guests, and I can even read her thoughts to her friends and boyfriend!! Boy, if something ever did happen between us, I'd have some JUICY STORIES! Well, okay, maybe not so much, but I like to think so :)
Someday, she's gonna be a really good mama to a real baby -- I can tell just by the way she treats me!

What I hope to teach my kids (or youth of the world) -- WBT

-I want to teach my kids, first and foremost, to not be scared of who they are. By this, I mean, don't pretend to be someone they're not just to please someone else.

-I want to teach them that I'm their mother first, friend second, but that doesn't mean they can't come to me if they're scared/insecure/whatever.

-I want them to love a God. It could be the Christian God, or whichever God they see fit, but I think it's necessary for them to have faith and that kind of guidance in their life.

-I will teach them support. I will support them with whatever decisions they support in life, as long as it's for the greater good.

-I will teach them that we have three things in life of the upmost importance: faith, hope, and love...and the greatest of these is love. I will teach them to love with all their heart, even when it's hard...love their enemies, because hating them is so much harder and not worth the stress it ensues.

-I hope to teach them the importance of education. Growing up, it was never assumed that I'd go to college...it wasn't ever really brought up or expected. I'm not saying I'm going to push it down their throats, but I will say that I do expect them to at least give it a shot. I know that higher education isn't for everyone, and if they decide they hate it, then that's that.

I'm sure there's more that I want to teach my kids. But these were the first to come to my head. :)

unanswered questions -- WBT

Here are some things I'd like to know before I get too old and cynical to care:

1) will the world really end in 2012?
2) will men be able to someday give birth without having to change their biological parts?
3) will the world really know peace?
4) will marijuana ever be legalized?
5) will the age limit on drinking in the United States be lowered (or raised, for that matter)?
6) will passports ever be required to enter different states in the U.S?

okay, I know they're not the world's "smartest" questions or whatever...but hey, we never said there was a requirement on that :P

Stress

This week's topic is what I do to calm me down when I'm stressed, and what I do overall.

1. I try to make whatever is stressing me out go away. If it's something work related, I ask for help or slow down my pace. If it's school related, I tell myself that I'm going to be okay and everything will work out. Also, taking a time out from whatever it is sometimes helps. Doing something else for like an hour (watching a show or reading) can help calm me down.
2. Sleep is a wonderful thing. We've become great friends over the past couple years. I've been really stressed out before, but usually not enough to where I couldn't sleep. Usually.
3. Talking about the situation really helps, especially if it's a relationship related stress, and even if it's not.
4. Managing my time has helped me a lot; prioritizing, not procrastinating, etc. That way I have time for assignments and other things. :)

five in five

Okay, so it's taken me a couple days, but here are five ideal places I'd like to see myself in five years.

1. I definitely see myself married, with one, maybe two kids. I want all my kids to be close in age, so I don't want to wait too long in between. We live in a small town, and I am a certified paralegal working in a firm.

2. We are married. We are still in Bellingham, because I landed a job at a law firm as a once in a lifetime sorta deal. Derek enlisted in the army and now works for border patrol. We will be moving soon because he will be stationed somewhere else. Oh, and we're expecting :)

3. I got the opportunity to work in a very prestegious animal law firm. There's only one problem. It's in Australia. But, it's a great opportunity. So, Derek and I pack up and move.

4. We are married, with one child. I decide that I am tired of the small town feel, so we move to a larger city that is still close to family, but just far enough away as well. ;) We are both doing great.

5. The world actually ends in 2012 and none of this has the chance to (or not). :/