Off the grid

I did it. I turned off my cell phone and kept it off for over 24 hours. It's still off, in fact.

It was hard at first. It's sad, really, how much we depend on technology for entertainment....how sucked into our phones we are. I was talking to my husband about how we always have our phones at arms length and aren't talking to anyone...whats the point? What are we waiting for?

Today, instead of being sucked into my phone, I got sucked into an old hobby - reading. Today, i worked on my sons baby books. (Yes i said books, he got one from each grandma). It was refreshing, to not depend on that for entertainment.

I encourage everyone to try it, even if it's just for a day. Next time i will shoot for the whole weekend!

How becoming a mother has made me a better friend

I'll be honest. In the past, I was a crappy friend. I was a workaholic (still am) and I would find excuses to get out of social things.

Things are so different now! I go to baby showers, birthday parties, whatever. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I would want my friends to come to my baby's birthday party. I cant imagine what it feels like to invite people and no one shows up.

Does it have to do with the fact that I have my own car now? Who knows. Maybe it's because I'm more centrally located and not in the boonies? I don't have to depend on other people or put them out for a ride?

I don't really know. But I do know that it feels good to be a better friend. At the end of the day, it makes me a better person, too, I think.

xox

Why I don't feel guilty about being a working mom

Some people need to be reminded that it's not 1950 anymore. It is far more common to see a career mom now than a stay at home mom. And guess what else? DADs are now getting the opportunity to stay at home and help raise their children. A role reversal, if you will.

As much as I would honestly LOVE to be able to stay at home with R, it isn't practical financially nor contractually (meaning I am bound by a contract). If it weren't for the friends I've made at work, I wouldn't get a lot of adult interaction. That is imperative, whether we are parents or not.

I loved being home for 6 weeks and when I take the rest of my maternity leave I will love being home and watching him grow. Honestly though, I needed to go back to work for said interaction. People asked me if I was ready, and I was...as much as I didn't want to leave my 6 week old at a daycare, I was ready and needed to return to work.

Working is in my blood. Before I had him, I thought I would love being a stay at home mom. But thinking about it now, I don't know if I could handle it. Working FROM home I could do. But I give a lot of credit to the stay at home mom's...it's a lot more work than people realize.

I do not regret nor do I feel guilty about going back to work. My baby doesn't know it now, but when he is older I hope he will realize that everything I do from today on is for him and because of him. He will be taken care of because his parents work and raise him. He will understand that life isn't just handed to him and sometimes, it does suck and it gets hard...but BECAUSE we love him so much, we work.

If anyone is getting flack or feeling guilty, stop it.

 

Diets & re-enlistments

People hear the word diet and immediately assume you're fat. No one ever thinks that if you're going on a diet it's simply to cut bad shit out of your life. The word is so taboo with so much negativity.
I say that because D and I are starting a diet of sorts. It will be inspired by the Paleo diet but with some modifications. We're on day 1, so don't ask me how it's going yet!

We have also decided that I will re-enlist with the Navy. Yes, this means going back to a ship eventually. It will absolutely suck, leaving the baby and dogs and D at home. But the navy has been so good to us. We are taken care of medically and financially and I know that if I leave they will all be okay. That's what matters.

Let's say I do 20 years. Baby won't even be graduated from high school by the time I'm done which means neither will any other kids we have. I won't miss the truly important stuff. If I do 20 years, we will be covered medically, and if Baby wants to go to school in California, since he was born here, they pay for it..perhaps the only good thing about this state...

I have weighed the pros and cons, and the pros win. I think I may have found what I was destined to do, and it surprised me...but I have accepted it and I'm ready to move forward.

Until next time.

Some things I've learned

I have only been a mom for a little over 2 weeks, but I have learned SO much that I think it's important to share with people.

Contractions are horrible. I got an epidural, & without that I probably could not have given birth. I cannot explain their amount of suck. The only way I was somewhat comfortable was on all 4s or sitting down...and even then, it was questionable.

With the epidural (when it works - which mine did), the worst part of the actual birthing experience is the ring of fire. Women, this is when babies head goes through your vag...once he's through, it's a rush.

You know when it's time to push - it feels like you have to take a major poop and the only way to get relief is to poop (in this case, push)...and boy, once that relief comes, it's amazing.

Pushing out the placenta can hurt worse than pushing out the baby.

There really is a mother's instinct. I am still learning all my baby's cries, but even without knowing 100% what each one means, I can still guess what he needs. Sometimes it's just a cuddle...and I am okay with that!

Before giving birth, I had never changed a diaper, never dressed a baby, never put a baby in a carseat, NOTHING. Now, all that stuff is second nature, like I've been doing it my whole life.

Breastfeeding can be hard! I wanted to breastfeed 100%, before I knew that that wasn't necessarily possible! My baby can't latch onto my nipple...so I pump my breast milk and give him formula. I am okay with that now because he gets what he needs...but please don't be disappointed if your plans don't work out.

HYDRATE.

My dogs sort of took the backburner for the first week or so, and I felt really guilty about that. I gave birth on a tuesday, was in the hospital until that friday night, and barely saw them at all. Things are back to normal now, but the fact of the matter is, as much as I wanted them to be involved, I had to take it slow...and introduce them day by day. It broke my heart....but I think I've made it up to them!

Having guests can be stressful, especially if you are a first time mom without a routine. Make sure guests understand that baby comes first and are willing to work around that schedule. Stand your ground.

Sleep. Get it now. I don't know if I'm a freak of nature or if it's my military training, or maybe a little of both, but my body is wired to work off of not many hours of sleep...but it is crucial to sleep whenever you can, so you have energy to keep up with the baby and if you're breastfeeding, you need to be as healthy as possible.

On that note, don't count on sleeping in the hospital!

Childcare. What a headache! Secure a spot ASAP, they fill up fast! I've been on a waiting list since November, go back to work in just over 3 weeks, and I am sweating to find a spot!

PPD is real and affects women differently.

My last note that I'll leave for now is that motherhood, so far, is amazing. I am in love and in awe of this life that my husband and I created.

Every child and situation is different, but I hope I can continue to help through my experiences. Stay tuned, I'll try to blog more often!

Let's talk about....

Stretch marks. It's the one part of my pregnancy that I have not, until recently, been able to accept. By recently, I'm talking about 2-3 weeks ago.

Some people will tell you there's nothing you can do to avoid them...they are hereditary, so if my mom got them (which she did) I will (and I did).

Others will tell you that creams & lotions will prevent them. That is not true. There is absolutely no scientific backing to this, I'm not really sure where this claim came from...probably one of the few women who didn't get them while pregnant.

Then, there's my favorite type of woman. The kind who has no kids, but is full of opinions regarding the subject...the one who thinks she knows everything about it but yet has never actually had the experience of carrying a child. Word of advice to this group: Shut up.

For me, for whatever reason, upon noticing my first set of stretch marks, I immediately got depressed. I thought of every woman in the third category and felt judged by them. I hated when women would say "they are your stripes, you have earned them, wear them proudly"... I haven't earned anything yet. Until I hold my baby in my arms, I will feel like I haven't done anything.

That being said, they are starting to fade now. I may never get my "bikini body" back, but that doesn't even matter to me anymore...honestly I can count on both hands how many times I've worn a bikini. The fact that I am growing a human life inside me is seriously astounding. I can't believe it. With everything I couldn't do up to this point...all the opportunities I missed or was passed up on, I get to have my own baby. Seriously, what could be better than that?

Stretch marks or not, I am so in love already. I am awaiting his arrival, knowing that in theory he could enter the world any day now...I'm anxious and excited! :)

A promise to my dogs

Before I begin, let me just say that I understand that dogs cannot read, speak, or fully understand what I say. But they CAN feel, sense change, and they know compassion. If you want to challenge any of that, please read no further.

The following is a promise to my dogs. A promise that I will not love them any less once our baby is here. A promise that they will not be neglected or put to the back burner...because they are family too. They were my "children" before my human child. I cannot imagine my life without them. They need me too.